LeadershipConneXtions

Why We Love the Church (A Few Personal Thoughts Inspired by DeYoung and Kluck)

Why We Love the Church: In Praise of Institutions and Organized Religion
by Kevin DeYoung and Ted Kluck

I liked their book. Not everything in it, but a lot of it.  I also part ways with them on some major things. What I really liked is their willingness to love what  Christ loves and to write honestly about the Church. Not just write about its flaws (which there are many) but about its beauty, goodness and accomplishments (which are substantial).

They engage in reflection (and theologizing) about the church. Good stuff, vigorous ideas and stated in very accessible language.  They "got me" thinking.
 

Why I Love the Church
Why I Love My Church (most of the time)
Why My Church Loves Me (most of the time)
Here are some of my thoughts and they are not listed in order of importance.

I love my church because . . . they let me be a part of it. They encourage me to hang out there. They like me. They want me. In other words, there are a lot of gracious people there who are willing to overlook my faults and idiosyncrasies and failures and sins. 

I love my church because . . . there are some incredible people that are a part of it. There are stories being lived out in front of me that take my breath away. I hear story after story about journeys that I think - someone should write a book about that person. These stories are stories of the powerful working of God and about their "mostly" cooperative responses to that work. These are stories about people who are desperately lost and broken apart from God and their stories are about new life, dreams, hope and a whole lot more.

I love my church because . . . it isn't afraid to try new stuff. Okay, here is a personal bias. I am HUGELY wired for change. One of my greatest passions is growth and development. And my church is a growing, developing, morphing, "becoming" group of people. And for the most part, most of the time, most of the people are mostly okay with change. That is kind of incredible.

I love my church because . . . it is all about grace. It is simply in the DNA of the church. It is the bottom line. It is the foundation. It is atmosphere and ethos. It is the guiding principle. It is the litmus test. It is the clarion call. It is the Inner Voice of the organization. It is part of the charism of its founder.  It is... i am running out of ideas, but you get the point. If there is another group of wilder misfits and a motlier crew, all who are being united and transformed by grace -- my hat (that I don't wear) is off to you).  (And by the way, I don't carry the bag either.)

I love my church because . . . it is passionate about important stuff. Stuff meaning:  Jesus. Mission. Discipleship. Service. Kids. Teenagers. Hurting people. Leadership. Spirituality. Beauty. Generosity. Truth. The Bible. Culture. Evangelism. Transformation. Our City. Racial Reconciliation. Oh yes - and being the Body of Christ. And my church is doing a lot of these things well. Not perfectly. Not by a long shot. But pretty well. Oh yes, sometimes we really mess up and fall really short. Three steps forward and two back. Or is two forward and three back?  Anyway . . . We are managing to keep the main thing the main thing... mainly.  

I love my church because . . . I have great friends there. We do life together. We grow together. We have iron sharpening iron conversations. We serve together. We follow Jesus together. We forgive one another. We get to do all the "one another" stuff in the New Testament.  (Hmmm, I don't have one of those buttons on me at the time either.)

I love my church because . . . it connects me with people really different from me with a ton of people that I would otherwise NEVER hang out with, see, get to know, come to appreciate, learn to respect, have the opportunity to extend grace to (and have some given right back to me), argue with, pray with, and learn how to be the body of Christ.

And one more for this post.
I love my church because . . .  Jesus is all over the place and making everything else possible.

Why do you love your church?

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

 

Quitting Church: Why People Are and What To Do About It - It is a Lot More Complex Than Duin's Assessment

This is a long post with a more substantial reflection on the church, than what I normally do on this blogsite. There are a few times when this post begins to take on the quality of one of my Rant and Rave posts. No apologies. I am passionate about the church.

I also thought about doing a "re-write" to tone some stuff down. It is not my intention to hurt anyone. But I do want to speak strongly in the midst of a conversation where I experience the critics speaking very strongly.
 

Let me run a few questions by you.

MARRIAGE
Why is marriage in trouble in the USA today?
Why are people quitting marriage in such large numbers?
 

HEALTH CARE
What is wrong with the health care system?
What can we do about it...what should we do about it?

GOVERNMENT
Why are so many people so cynical and pessimistic about the government?
Why are so many people just giving up on expecting true change from great political leadership?
How can we change their viewpoint to they are excited once again about the government?
Or should we just bail and sit on the sidelines and gripe and complain?

For the three issues mentioned above - here are a few more questions.
How simple or how complex do you think those issues are?
How simple or how complex do you think the perspectives, answers, proposed solutions will be?

I think the issues are extremely complex and the answers are just as complex.


THE CHURCH...
Why are the Faithful Leaving?
What Can We Do About It?

These are the two big questions Julia Duin raises and answers. I am not satisfied with her assessment or her answers. 

What follows is a pretty strong criticism of Duin's highly critical book. 

Of her ten chapters, eight of them are focused on specific issues: Church is irrelevant, it is not providing community, it is not culturally engaged, singles are not welcome or helped, teaching is weak, the pastor is the problem, women don't have a true voice, and the Spirit of God is not showing up. In these eight chapters, you can find another 40 or so complaints listed.  (And I agree with many of our criticisms about the church. They are true for some churches at some times.)

Also, please understand that Julia Duin is one who has quit the church. For Duin, the "leavers" are blameless "with very few exceptions." (pp. 177).  I am sure she includes herself as one of the blameless. She has left the church and it is the church's fault.  The church is just not meeting the needs of people or her own needs. That language recurs over and over through her book. 

I grew a little weary of this whining about "my needs aren't being met." I also grew a little skeptical about the "not my fault" mentality that was looking for the herd of "leave takers" to confirm her choice.

I almost despaired thinking about how to write a post(s) in response to the endless specifics with which I disagree. Then the next day I read a book by two authors who (in essence) did a far better job than I could do (although there are definitely things they say which I think are inadequate or misguided). The book is Why We Love the Church. I'll have a few comments about that in another post.  

Here is why I don't value Duin's contribution.

She quit, she complains, and she assesses blame as wholly elsewhere and on the other! I have been in enough counseling situations, enough church conflict situations, enough messy leadership scenarios to know -- there is always more than one side to the story... and that one person, one party, one position NEVER has all the blame. A little more self-awareness and humility on Duin's part would have been nice.
 

If you quit and bail -- you lose the right to criticize on what you've quit. Sorry, that is just the way it is. On anything. 

If you want to criticize, then hang in there. Do the hard work of love. Okay, so you've been hurt. WHO HASN"T BEEN HURT?  You've been disappointed and let down! Join the club called humanity. 

You think you can do church better. Than do it. Do it for about ten years and then tell us how you did it. But along the way, here is what I think you will find. You aren't going to do a very good job at it. You will hurt people. You'll disappoint them. You'll let them down. You won't meet their needs. And they will criticize you at every step. And they will QUIT on you. They will take their leave of you and they will put all the blame on you.

Please stop with the banal answers of - be more relevant. Be more loving. Have more community. Have better teaching. Do a better job of leading.  As if we don't know this already. As if thousands of us are not trying to do these very things. As if we haven't learned a few things along the way. And as if there are not multiple ways forward. 

Oh yes... one more thing. Please give up on the naive idea that the "House Church" is the answer. Lots of us know it isn't. It is just as hard as any other "form" or "method" or "style" of church.  Here is what we are going to see in about 5 years.  Books titled: 

Why I Quit My House Church:  My Needs Weren't Being Met.

Disillusioned with the House Church: Memoirs of a Post-Emergent Pagan.

Help for Those Hurt by Dysfunctional House Church Leaders

If You Thought Big Church Was Bad... Why I Left the House Church Movement

The house church already has problems with mission, teaching, community, and leadership. 

Imagine this scenario. Thousands of untrained leaders. Not trained in understanding the Bible. Not trained in teaching or facilitating. Not trained in processing relational conflict. Not trained in leadership. Not trained in missional outreach. Not trained in the spiritual disciplines. Not trained in much at all. And now they are a "new kind of leader for a new kind of church."  Where do I sign up?  (Sarcasm intended.)

Oh wait. We've already had that situation. It was/is known as the small group movement. 

Today the small group movement just got a lot sexier and edgier by taking the name "House Church." Wonderful! But a poorly led, poorly taught, poorly nurtured, poorly missional group is going to be a mess whether you call it a small group, a House Church, or Revolutionary Cell, or Christian Coven (sorry, more sarcasm playing around with those who play around with the idea of Pagan Christianity) or whatever you decide to name it. 

And this is only going to get worse, not better.  I can share some personal anecdotes of my own on this as well. Some from years ago and some from last month. I've heard plenty of anecdotes from people who have left a house church which they described as deeply dysfunctional, bad leadership, lousy teaching, ingrown, not missional, etc.  Hmmm. That sounds familiar.  I guess human nature erupts in small groups as well as large ones.

By the way, for the record, I have no problems with House Church as one more method, way, strategy for doing church in our time. I do have a problem with utopian views about the house church. I do have a problem thinking it is THE way to do church.

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Okay, there are real issues in the church.  Lots of them. There are real problems. These issues and problems are very complex. We mess up a lot. We fall terribly short so often. There are many, many nuances in every issue. There are always multiple reasons for every problem. There are always about as many perspectives on an issue-problem as there are people involved. 

And we need to do something about the problems. 

Here is what I am left with. 

Jesus loved the church. I am pretty sure that Jesus still loves the church. Jesus has not Quit on the church. I am also pretty sure that Jesus wants us to love the church also. Jesus, because he doesn't quit on the church and because he sacrificially loves the church, has the right to criticize and rebuke his church (for an illustration of this read Revelation 2 and 3). I'd like to suggest that we be about the imitation of Christ on this. That means, do not Quit, Bail, Leave, Flee, or Abandon...  If it gets that bad, then you have the opportunity to practice loving your enemy.  Go for it and see what God does in you even if he does little around you.  (Note: In a later post, I'll address the fact that renewal of broken systems sometimes means going outside the system and starting something new.)

The New Testament church was a very messy affair. All you have to do is read Paul's letters and you see that it has always been this way. For Paul, the church was worth fighting for, praying for, suffering for, dying for.  And he did. He loved the church as did his Savior.  Paul was always committed to the imitation of Christ.

I have been tempted more than once to quit, to bail, to throw in the towel. I've been hurt too. I've been misunderstood, taken advantage of, criticized, not appreciated, not had my needs met... 

And in all of this, Jesus brings me back to the great goal and outcome of our faith, which has never ceased to be... 

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and spirit. And love your neighbor as yourself. Some of those neighbors are church people.

Love one another. By this, all people will know you are my followers. I am pretty sure that no exegetical gymnastics is going to be able to translate the word love as Quit on one another.

Love is patient and kind... love always hopes and always perseveres. (i.e.  Love does not Quit.)

Love doesn't quit and complain from the sidelines. Love engages, love suffers, love sacrifices, love redeems...

So I've stayed the course, prayed for grace and healing. Recognized my own sin and shortcomings as well those of the "other." I've become a little more humble along the way. A bit more grateful. And certainly more dependent on mercy and forgiveness. (And still grumbled way too much... but tried to do it under my breath.)

The church that Jesus died for is not a church we want to Quit on.

And finally... (to mercifully end this way to long post on a semi-humorous note)

. . . here is one creative, marketing appeal for church...

The only problem is, when you join it, it may begin to...
Sorry... had to get that one in.

Brian "a very great sinner who needs the Church" Rice  
Leadership ConneXtions International  
www.lci.typepad.com

Quitting Church (A Few Thoughts Inspired by Julia Duin)

Last week I have had some "spirited" discussions with some friends about the church and its relevance (and image and attractiveness) to the culture around us. 

• Why do people come to church? 
• Why don't people come to church?
• Why do they come but not come back?
• Why do they come for a time, but then leave?

We did not come to any sort of consensus on our answers. 

In the 1970s and 1980s, evangelicals (and the conservative church in general) had a good thing going. The ranks were swelling as people left the historic mainline denominations, which for the most part saw continued decline through last century and which has continued into this new one.

But as the first decade of the new millennium draws to an end, all is not well with conservative Christianity and its churches, whether evangelical, fundamentalist, pentecostal or charismatic.

We know people are leaving the church.
We know church attendance among conservative churches is dropping.

Whereas a Gallup Poll said that in 2006, 43% of Americans attended church (129 million), other studies show a much smaller percentage, more in the range of 18-20%. 

We know that 10% of the churches in America have about 50% of all church attendance.  

And we know that while many of these churches are quite large and have a good Front Door, there is also a considerable Back Door. There are a lot of people leaving conservative churches.

George Barna has been a leader in speaking and writing about this trend. (How good he is, is another matter!)

David Kinnaman spoke clearly about this issue in his recent book - Unchristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks ABout Christianity...and Why it Matters.

Dan Kimball wrote about the emerging (and postmodern) generation and why they are not attracted to our church - They LIke Jesus But Not the Church.

The emergent authors in general, rightly I might add, have this issue on the front burner of the conversation.

Julia Duin, a religion editor of The Washington Times, has weighed in on the issue in her book:

Quitting Church: Why the Faithful are Fleeing and What To Do About It.

I am going to weigh in on her perspective which I think is deeply flawed in many ways: shallow in its interpretation, naive in its solutions, and sad in its tenor. 

I do not doubt (for the most part) the statistics of what is going on. Nor do I deny the anecdotes which she provides as illustrations of the statistics. Nor am I insensitive to her personal, painful experience. What I do find problematic is her assessment of why, and her answers are almost insulting for those who are still working and struggling in the church which they love. Here is where I am pretty post-modern. There are not "brute facts" on this matter. There are only interpreted facts. I think her interpretation is flawed and biased in a number of ways.

Her book is an example of how complex this issue is and how thoughtful we must be if we are to move forward. 

So over the next several days, I'll have some of my reflections on this issue.

I look forward to hearing from anyone who wants to weigh in on this issue.

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International  
www.lci.typepad.com

How Do You Handle Disappointment?

Disappointment goes with the leadership territory. We have to learn how to deal with it.

Dreams dont' materialize nearly as quickly as we want.

People don't come through nearly as often as we need.

Progress is slower than we anticipate, strategic plans not as effective as we would like, obstacles more serious than they initially appeared.

Failure happens. Losses occur. Criticism mounts.

I've had some deep disappointments in ministry and leadership (not to mention life). So what do I do when I am face to face with disappointments? What do you do in this situation?

Here is what doesn't work...

Whining about my situation. Or a variation of whining, the "woe is me" self-pity game.

Or fault finding, blame-shifting...

Or withdraw and giving up so I don't have to face disappointment again.

Disappointments are the time when we have to dig deep and find the veins of courage, faith and trust.

Disappointments are the time when we have to fix our eyes on Christ and the goal for which we press on to reach.

Disappointments are the time when we must remember the history of God's work in our lives and ministry.

Disappointments are inevitable. But our response and our way forward are what matter the most.

Brian K. Rice  
Leadership ConneXtions International  
www.lci.typepad.com

Organizational Leadership and the Seeds of Its Own Demise

Here is a great idea from Seth Godin that I read a few days ago. I sent it out to a dozen or so leaders and it all spoke to them. In one way or another, they all said they have seen this dynamic in operation. For anyone who is leading an organization, or for that matter a part of one, this is a principle that is work in organizational life.

Here's a rule that's so inevitable that it's almost a law:

As an organization grows and succeeds, it sows the seeds of its own demise by getting boring. With more to lose and more people to lose it, meetings and policies become more about avoiding risk than providing joy.

Worth reflecting on. Do you see this happening in your organization.

Brian Rice  
Leadership ConneXtions International  
www.lci.typepad.com

Report on Asuncion Paraguay Trip and the Power of Mentoring

John is back from Asuncion, Paraguay. Asuncion is one of those places that it just takes awhile to get there. You can't fly directly into Asuncion from the USA, so you inevitably have a layover somewhere. John was in transit for about two days coming back to the States. He told me that one of the participants spent three days traveling from Bolivia, by bus, to get to the class. When we have participants like that, we want to give them the very best life transforming ideas and leadership shaping training we can. 

And that is what John did with the Mentoring Course. Here is one of John's reflections at the end of the course.  -bkr-
 

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“New Insights into the subject of Mentoring”

Being able to journey with another leader, especially cross-culturally is a marvelous experience.  I find myself pretty entrenched in our English Speaking North American context which is very individualistic and in many cases narcissistic and egocentric.  It is when I can visit another culture that these negative aspects of our culture become more obvious. 

In my recent trip to Asuncion, Paraguay I was privileged to work with ten top-level pastors and missionaries from South America.  The topic was mentoring which, in one sense is done quite frequently in the Latino culture but often more haphazard and without accountability.  Interestingly enough neither, ‘mentoring’ nor ‘accountability’, have equivalents in Spanish.  So we spend a good part of the class unpacking what those terms mean and how to apply them to the Latino culture.  Their engagement in the discussion was very enriching for all of us.  As they struggle with the day to day activities of ministry they were able to see how their lives parallel Moses example in Exodus 18:1-27. 

We focused on the purpose of mentoring and why it is so important as a multiplication factor for leaders and will help them to avoid burnout.  It is an activity that requires the four mindsets of a leader.  With all of the other demands of ministry the mentor must be strategic, intentional, self aware and surrendered.  Short of those disciplines the mentoring effort will just be another activity added to a long list of things to be done, like Jethro pointed out to Moses.

If it is done well the rewards are great encouragement in Joshua 24:31 “Israel served the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him and who had experienced everything the Lord had done for Israel”.  Moses mentored Joshua and Joshua mentored the elders leading to multiple generations of leaders who served Israel well.  I want to be part of that legacy and it appears that through mentoring it is possible. Thanks to all the participants in Asuncion for the blessing of sharing their lives with me.

John Hilliard  
Leadership ConneXtions International  
www.lci.typepad.com

 

How to Write a Mission Statement That Isn't Dumb | Fast Company

via www.fastcompany.com

Here is a real nice article on mission statements. Over the years, I have helped many people work on writing mission (and vision) statements. This is often a frustrating experience for people.

Greatness

On Sunday, Pastor Steve, Pastor Rob and I did a "tag team" preaching on the theme of greatness working with two passages out of Mark 9 & 10.

I led it off describing how Jesus defined great leadership. Jesus says a great leader is one who is a servant. Then he takes it a level deeper by saying a leader is the one who is a slave to all. Then Jesus goes even further and says great leadership is measured by the amount of one's sacrifice. These are not words and concepts we normally use to talk about leadership. It is completely counter-cultural and counter-intuitive.

Pastor Rob followed up with how our culture looks at individual greatness... usually in terms of wealth, rank, accomplishment and physical prowess.  None of these are the qualities of true greatness. 

Pastor Steve then walked us through what it means to be a great church. He especially focused on a great church is one that is devoted to service and giving of ourselves to others. The challenge was for us to imagine what a church would be like if hundreds or thousands of people did this. That would be the way to a truly great church.

I was deeply moved and motivated for renewed service on behalf of others. 

My prayer is for all of us to consider how we may be about the imitation of Christ who was the exemplary servant leader.

Brian K. Rice  
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

Stout Monks (Miriam Philips)

Here is a delightful post from Miriam Phillips borrowing an idea from Benedict and his Order.  Thanks for this great insight and encouragement.  Stoutly yours,  -bkr-

p.s.  For readers who are relatively new to this blogsite, if you would like to read previous posts from Miriam, go to the Categories group in the left hand column and click on Miriam Phillips for all her posts.

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A couple of weekends ago, I was privileged to sit informally with several senior missions leaders and church-planters.  Two of them began to tell us about being members of the Order of the Stout Monks.   They explained how they meet for several days each year for guided probing prayer and sharing aimed at keeping them on a course in their personal and public lives that honors God. As they told how they have found an abbot to guide them in this, I suddenly realized where their name came from—which they confirmed.  The sentence that the phrase “stout monks” comes from is legendarily an addition to the Order of Saint Benedict. It reads like this:

 

“If any pilgrim shall come from distant parts with wish to dwell in the monastery, and will be content with the customs of the place, and does not by his lavishness disturb the monastery but is simply content, he shall be received for as long as he wishes. If, indeed, he shall find fault with anything, and shall expose the matter reasonably and with the humility of charity, the Abbott shall discuss it with him prudently lest perchance God hath sent him for this very thing. But, if he shall have been found contumacious during his sojourn in the monastery, then it shall be said to him, firmly, that he must depart. If he will not go, let two stout monks, in the name of God, explain the matter to him.”

 

These Christian leaders are committed themselves to be held accountable for the next 10 years by the “stout monks” in their group:  6 high level leaders that have come to know them well.

• Here are a few reflection questions well worth pondering and then acting on:
• Who in my life has permission to set me straight to “explain the matter” when I don’t “get it”?
• Who hears my story fully enough to discern if I am in need of further explanation?
• Might I need a group as deeply committed as these men to carry out the vision that God has given me?
• What might I be able to do to be a catalyst for my own version of the Order of Stout Monks?

 

Miriam Phillips
Amsterdam, Holland

Patient Trust (by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ)

Here is a very moving thought sent to me from Randy Reimold. de Chardin was a Jesuit who ran afoul of the Roman Catholic officials for some of his less than orthodox theology.

This thought shows some of the profound spirituality the man lived in. If you know the Jesuit way of spirituality, this brief reflection makes even more sense.

For anyone who is interested in the developmental processes of life, you will enjoy this encouragementto be patient in your trust.

Thanks Randy.

bkr

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Patient Trust

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.
And yet it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability---and that it may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you.
Your ideas mature gradually--let them grow,
Let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don't try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.

Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be.
Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.

Brian K. Rice  
Leadership ConneXtions International  
www.lci.typepad.com